It’s 2020. We’ve evolved to a generation where we have to be open, accepting and non-sensitive. We’re in a time where we have to learn how to take a joke and not take it so seriously. And when you don’t, you’re called as sensitive or a person with no sense of humour.
Jokes are fun and they’re supposed to humour you. But it can quickly turn into something distasteful when one steps over the fine line of being witty and being disrespectful.
It happened to me once when I had just met a friend with a sense of “humour”. He was always taking opportunities to make sarcastic or witty comebacks in conversations. I thought it was fun to befriend such a person because humour is what keeps a friendship fun anyways.
But everything took a turn when my face got compared to the size of his male stick. (Yes, his ding dong. Bear in mind we’ve only met for a few weeks, not more than a month).
From a conversation non-related to anything sexual, it suddenly took a course to a road where I was just left speechless, embarrassed, belittled, mocked and objectified. It was so uncalled for. I felt so ashamed though I was not supposed to be one feeling it. I could only sit there in silence while he continued his joke of comparison. I can’t even explain how small and helpless I felt.
He laughed.
Everyone around him laughed.
Me? I had an anxiety attack, thinking if I should stay silent or to make an epic comeback to shut it down. If I had voiced out, I was afraid that people would say I was just being sensitive.
It was no longer a witty space, and he was no longer a funny person to me. He became a desperate person who needed to seek validation from people’s laugher.
His friends told me,
“Just ignore him. That’s just how he is.”
NO.
It wasn’t okay and it still isn’t okay for someone to act this way. In no way should someone think it’s fine to make disrespectful remarks, what more bringing in the sexual factor.
For months, I’ve thought of what I should have said and how I should have acted when it happened. I’ve made mental remarks to make myself feel better. I thought, “if I corrected his behaviour or said something sarcastic to hurt his joke in my mind, maybe I’ll feel better.”
None of it made me feel better because it was the fact that it happened when it was not supposed to happen.
Please, everyone-
Don’t simply throw words out just because it’s okay with you. Things don't work that way.
There is a fine line, and people should realize that there is one.
Oh, not just realize it. Respect it.
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